Beyond External Control to Self-Giving Love

Relationships in a fallen human condition are affected by fear. The personality fears being inadequate and as a result fears the loss of love. Because we fear that the self is not good enough, we try to gain power and control, self-esteem, and approval externally from others. The fear based conditioning is transmitted to us in early childhood by culture through the family and societal institutions such as religion, science, education, and media.

The wounded ego personality, both consciously and unconsciously, attempts to fill a perceived emptiness by using the other. The incessant competing for attention and control, lowers everyone’s energy. Joy, love, and creativity is lost.

By healing and transforming to our true self, we find the adequacy and ever-present connection to love within our hearts. Now, we are free to express a self-giving love to others. Relationships move beyond a competitive struggle for needs fulfillment to a cooperative mutual enhancement. Each partner in the relationship supports the other by coming from an authentic internal power and affirmation. The relational spirituality of our true humanity brings love and creativity through all types of relationships–parental, marital, soul mate, romantic, friendship, business, teacher/student, good samaritan, etc.

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